The 1st of 7... part 2...

A dear frIend poInted somethIng out on a comment left about the fIrst portIon, and he made an obvIous showIng on the central letter In the word prIde.  The whole thIng he wrote had all the I's capItalIzed, and It gave me a bang-up Idea... I'm gonna copy that motIf today (as best I can) to sIngle out the central problem with prIde.  That problem, folks, Is me.

"He mocks those who mock, but gives grace to the humble."

Proverbs 3:34, HCSB

You know, there are a lot of thIngs that can be dIscussed about the topIc of prIde In any gIven study, but thIs one concept Is paramount, In my opInIon.  I say thIs, because I am a mocker.  In the event you are shocked to hear thIs truth about me, please know that I am not lookIng for shock and awe here.  What I want to do Is show how vItal the awareness of self truly Is, so that someone can possIbly learn from my faIlIngs.

I'm gonna insert a thought here, because you should know that it is hard to keep capitalizing all the I's in all the words... it's a little like constantly edifying oneself, and not allowing your faith and works and life to speak for themselves.  The entire process of self-lifting eventually becomes a process of self-loathing, because the self-support has to give way eventually to the truth.  In that spirit, I'm going to stop capitalizing all of the I's, because I think we all get the point now.

So back to the honesty stuff: I am a mocker.  I mock TV, I mock politics, I mock my wife when she says something mockable, I even mock my kids.  I poke fun at everything on the planet, and it all comes from a single source within me, which is my own insecurity.  In fact, I wrote an entire book about this exact issue, and as has been shared with me, I haven't learned as much from it as I should have.  To go the entire length of this honesty, I also wrote a second book, covering traits that I should display instead of mockery, and I have fallen short there, as well.  I'm the equivalent of the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare's second contest, which would be the long jump... that hare, he's all the way out a World Record distance, and I'm back behind making fun of the way he ran up to the line.

But can I even run up to the line?  Can I jump at all?  Am I capable of any of this growth that he seems to have achieved?  Of course I am.  The issue, though, is that while I'm focused on the other guy, I miss the opportunities to work on myself.  I slide right past those, because they are hard.  They require introspection.  They require that I take down the wonderful Berlin Wall that I have built inside myself to keep my facts from mingling with my much-more-popular fiction.  Those moments require me to be the best Christian I can be by humbling myself to the lowest point that I can find.  That low point has been shown to me through the Word in the examples of many, Jesus Christ being the largest.  Paul comes in pretty high on the scale, as well, and so do Peter and Timothy and Stephen. 

As to my fiction, the truth is that the man you may personally know me to be is a real person... he just has an alter ego.  My pride keeps me from telling you all the facts, in this medium at least, but there are facts that even the good guy in me wishes not to face.  This is the essence of pride.  Pride wants to be seen as one thing, when there are many more sides to the polygon.  And, as I am recalling from one of my books, I deemed it far wiser of myself to not try to have witty comebacks, but rather to have prayerful responses.  So, as with the previous segment, I will ask for your prayers again through this process. 

And for anyone who might think that I mean to share instructions on life or living or any other such thing, please know that my experiences are all that I write about.  I am on this journey, and I am blessed to have the companions that I have in each of you, but I am not a pastor or a leader of a church... I'm just a man on a journey, and I share that journey for the primary purpose of being held accountable to it.  I am learning to be humble, so that I can receive the grace spoken of above, and no longer mock that which I do not understand or will think is funny.

God bless you all!!!