Number five...

This one will be among the more difficult for me, as I have certainly not kept it in the way that I should have.  So before starting into it, I'll just say that this passage will speak almost entirely to me, and if you learn something from it or are able to pull something from it then that is God at work.

"Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth."

Exodus 20:12

This Commandment begins the set of how we are to relate to other people on the planet.  And today, I am aware that the first four have to be in place for this fifth one and all that follow to happen.  I am also aware that this one cannot precede the four before it, and cannot have more importance than those four.  And more than anything, I am aware that because of the ordering of these first five, my relationship with God the Father should reflect into my relationships with my parents.

But it does not... not all the time.

I do not show the honor and love to both of my parents that I should 100% of the time, as I do have certain things that I refuse to forgive.  And I do have things that I keep to myself... better stated, I have things I keep FOR myself, that I will not let go of.  I can honestly say that I do love both of my parents, and that has never been something I have had to question.  But this particular Commandment doesn't say to "love" them, does it?  No... it says to show them honor.

And please notice, self, that it does not distinguish between the two.  It doesn't say that it's okay for me to honor one and not the other.  And it makes no mention of a divorce clause that would allow for me to only honor the one I live with.  It doesn't allow for interpretation as to which father or mother, in the case of step or foster parents, but rather says "thy father and thy mother," which, in that time, would have been your biological parents.  And it doesn't accept excuses at all.

And you begin to wonder, "Well, he's a Christian man and writer, and he's a father who certainly wants to be honored, so why doesn't he do it himself?"  Good question: and when I come to the real answer one day, I promise, I'll post it for the world to see.  I think that it is because I harbor things, as mentioned before, and that I grew up in a broken home.  I never knew my parents to be a couple, and I never once heard them say nice things to or about each other.  In fact, they made a point (both of them) to point out that they were NOT speaking ill of one another in my presence... which spoke volumes each and every time.  (Yes, I recognize the irony in this that I cannot tell their story or mine with them in it in an honorable fashion.)

And to speak to the other part of your question, the answer would be yes, I certainly want my children to honor my wife and me.  I want better for them than what I had, which is the goal of every parent I have ever met, including my own.  And I suppose, in that small way of delivering better for my children than I had, I show one form of honor to my parents by fulfilling their dream of me having better than what they had.  But I'm not certain if that is what the passage means, as it seems more all-inclusive in the honoring that we should put forth.

The point is that we all probably fall a little short on this at times... at least, I hope I'm not the only one.  But our constant return and apology, growth and accountability, honesty and love to our mother and father (yes, to BOTH of them) is honor that we can show.  And to add to that, when we honor the first four, and live for the LORD our God with purposeful fervency, we can better know how to show honor to our parents.  And then all we have to do is do it.  All I have to do is do it.

Remember: honor is harder than love, because it requires that we humble ourselves, and that is an act of our own will. 

God bless you all!!!