Friday's thought.....

Prov 1:7 - The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

QBQ - How can I better demonstrate reverence before my God?

Once again, I will make the statement that people are watching you... just as they are watching me. Our attitude towards everything in all creation demonstrates our devotion to Him. Show wisdom by thinking about the awesomeness of God before you speak, and honor the Lord through this!

May He bless you!

Stay Strong

How does that song go? The Newsboys are such masters with their wording! "Stay strong, you are not lost... come on, fix your eyes ahead... there's a new dawn to light our way!" I love this song, because it first popped into my ears after a large and colorful "discussion" with my lovely and amazing wife; who, of course, was right (and I do mean that literally).

We were into secret shopping at the time, and I was heading south to a specific mall for a specific store shop with our oldest child. We had "discussed" whether the whole family would go, just her and the eldest, just me and the eldest, etc. To top all of this off, it happened immediately after leaving our Sunday School class! Great stuff, right?

So we end up deciding that the oldest and I will go, and it's clear on the south side of town. In Houston, that usually means over an hour of driving. While on the way, my oldest fell asleep, and I was left to my thoughts. To keep him resting, I decided that I would listen to the radio... I do love some Christian radio! (Side note, to date it has been almost three years since I listened to any secular music, and the added peace of that choice is wonderful!)

And then it happened; "Stay Strong" by the Newsboys came on, and I was enamored. After a long and colorful "discussion," any spouse can feel discouraged. But I was moved by the words that we should press on for the "prize that lies ahead." Because for married couples, it truly is about the marathon, and not the sprint.

I called my wonderful wife and immediately apologized, explaining in my limited capacity the Kingdom Moment that had just occurred, and she graciously accepted and forgave me. And it is that way with so many things! Granted, I think the goal is to not mess up as much or as badly, but I thank God that she forgives as He forgives... COMPLETELY!!!

If there were one point I would like for you to take away from this, it would be that God, through Christ, has forgiven us completely. Our sins, past, present and future, are non-existent in His eyes because of our relationship with His Son. If He forgives so totally and completely... and we are to walk with Him and in His ways... you see where this is going, right?

Take a moment tonight and pray together for the strength to see each other as God sees you; washed white as snow, with your sins scattered as far as the east is from the west. Pray in love tonight for the wisdom to see right past all of the human failings, through to the blessing in flesh that is your spouse. And thank God for that!!!

God bless you all!!!

Joshua 24:15

But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15

I have to admit, I never heard these words until after I was married. I had no idea how my household would serve at all, and all that was on my mind was what mattered to me in an earthly sense. And then our first child was born.

I began to contemplate how I could be a better husband and father, and thought of hundreds of ways to improve myself! And then I set out to do it all at one time... and guess what happened???

I failed. The fatal flaw of flesh is frustrated failure in frivolous frontiers. (I am a fan of alliteration.)

And then I found myself feeling depressed and insignificant, thinking that there was no way I could ever make the changes needed in my life. I am, after all, only human. So I guess people are just going to have to accept me the way that I am. And if I decide to serve in a church, then I will do so. But if I don't, then so be it.

As I am certain you can imagine, this did not go so well for me. As I kept the world and my own selfish desires at the forefront of my thoughts, so did my wife. We did not, either separately or corporately, focus on where we should be serving or how to do it. And we received exactly what we put out... nothing.

Don't get me wrong, we weren't losing everything or homeless or hungry. We found many blessings in life, and chased after most things in our own power. We didn't give the glory to Him, and we patted ourselves and each other on the back over and over for all that we had accomplished. And we made it pretty far, if I do say so myself.

So I decided to let God have a crack at changing me, from the inside out. And, brothers and sisters let me tell you, it has been AWESOME!

We decided to turn our focus; and I cannot begin to describe the joy that has followed!!! We are serving in so many different ways now that it seems impossible to have a moment without the thought of serving God. And that is amazing to me! If only we had started on the right foot, we would probably be much further along than we currently are... but there's still time. God is now the center, and our relationship with Christ is the key to understanding our love for each other and our children.

I would say to you today that you should never be discouraged by the way things look right now. We did not start with God as our primary focus, but we got there. You can, too! That is why, as you pray tonight with your spouse, I urge you to read through this passage of Joshua 24 together. See the way they looked at service, and be blessed from their conviction! After all, once you've tried it in your own power and failed, what's wrong with letting the Creator of the universe take the wheel?

God bless you all!!!

Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship.
Romans 12:1 (NIV)

This was written to men, and I believe that it speaks to men, as a gender... but I also believe that it speaks to men, as a species (to include women). Obvious points are to not infect your body with poisons and such, and the need for exercise is implied. But I also think there is another requirement.

As the body is filled with the spirit, it is necessary to maintain a positive spirit. Otherwise, your body is nothing but an amplifier of negativity. The point of focus here, for men and women alike, is that positive and encouraging thoughts and words are powerful and important.
Eph 4:29

Take time tonight to lift up your spouse, both verbally and in prayer. Thank God for the gift you have been given.

God bless you all!!!

Friday's thought.....

Prov 31:29 - "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

QBQ - Do I show enough love and appreciation for my wife?

Our wives are our greatest supporters, gentlemen. Show wisdom by honoring them for who they are and all they do. They are, each one, a gift from God; honor that!

This husband at the end of Proverbs 31 knew that his wife needed encouragement. So why do we tend to forget so often that our wives need the same, if not more, focused and devoted praise for all that they are in our lives? We get busy... the phone won't stop ringing... the kids are crying... the dinner is burning... the dishes need to be done... there's laundry to fold... you see where this goes, right? And before you know it, you've gone off to bed without praising your wife for all that she is.

It is our first responsibility to ensure that our wives are cared for, and this includes encouragement. Different for everyone, of course, but nonetheless vital to the strength of our marriages. Vital to our love for each other. Vital to our children's capacity to understand what love truly is from dad to mom... and how they will give/receive that love when they are married.

Spend time tonight thinking of a way to praise her for who she is. And, like a close friend and mentor of mine once told me, perhaps you could let her win the ice cream race this time. (Little esoteric humor there... sorry 'bout that.)

God bless you all!!!

Holiness

What do you think of when someone refers to another person as "holy?" The majority will say things like: robed, reserved, somber, solemn, quiet... boring has come up before... as has perfect. People so often fail to understand what holiness really is for a Christian. It is not an outward action or set of actions, but an inward RE-action that comes from allowing Christ into your heart and life!

I heard some powerful words tonight, from a powerful Christian man who came to speak to our Discipleship class. I will hit the main points, as there is too much knowledge in his wisdom and speech to write down.

1. When you are saved, you are washed clean, and all of your former sin has been erased forever.

2. At this point, you become holy through Christ.

3. Your holiness never leaves; but the degree to which you chase it is up to you.

4. Your holiness is progressive, always growing; each back-slide halts the process, and only confession can move it forward.

Powerful words, from a powerful man, empowered by the All-Powerful Most High God. I have been blessed to sit in his presence and learn from his years of service to God. And I agree with him 100%.

Are you chasing your own holiness as a member of Christ's Church? Are you enrolling in places where you can extend your understanding of the Lord our God? Is it your "determined purpose to know Him?"
Phil 3:10 (AMP)

I can tell you that the chase is not an easy one. But I can also tell you that it does grow more natural to chase after your own holiness. And as you acclimate to the truth that you are made holy through your relationship with Christ, your understanding of how deep that holiness goes will expand.

One thing you should know, though, is that your holiness ONLY exists through Him, and your relationship with Him. Nothing you can ever do in your own power on this earth will EVER grant you the blessing and privilege of holiness. No work can ever put you on that mantle; no repeated act, no matter how good, pure or well-intentioned; NOTHING AT ALL... but His perfect grace has already made that transformation in you, the moment you become a Christian!
Eph 2:8-9

I challenge you tonight to spend time in prayer asking God to show you the path to your personal growth in holiness. Seek His will in this, and blessings will abound from above. And the next time you go to a worship service, pay attention to your actions and level of worship to the Creator of the universe and all things in it.

And after that, spend time together, as a couple, praying for the same purpose. As He created the marriage covenant, it is holy. As you are a Christian, you are holy. As your spouse is a Christian, he/she is holy. Therefore, your marriage IS HOLY! Honor that, and honor Him.

God bless you all!!!

Debt

Debt... even typing the word out sends chills up and down the spine of both my wife and myself as we sit here. And when she saw that I was serious about this entry, she decided that tonight would be a great night for her to put our oldest to bed. Oddly enough, she fell asleep upstairs for about thirty minutes.

So, for starters, what is debt? Put simply, debt is money owed to someone else. In a more complex view, it can be not only a cause, but also an effect of divorce. (Kinda weird that they both start with a "D," huh?) In fact, uncontrolled spending habits, when mixed with an economy like the one we are currently weathering, along with low wages generally lead to an increase in debt; which leads to an increase in arguments over money; which can lead to divorce; which leads to more debt on both sides. Even Shakespeare knew that you should "neither a borrower nor a lender be." So why do we get into debt in the first place?

Wait a sec... my name starts with a "D." You don't think that means... nah!

Well, the house is an easy explanation. Most people do not have enormous sums of money just sitting around, waiting for the home purchase to come up... but they could! Imagine what your life would be like if you actually HAD saved your allowance and your first earnings, and then made intelligent investments with it. And as for the automobile debts, all I can say is that we all fall victim to the dreaded trade-in ploy, and the promise of no negative equity based on rebates. I know, because I used to sell people on it every day. But there are a growing number of people unwilling to pay the notes for more than four years, and some who are waiting it out until they have the cash in hand before making a purchase! Awesome!!! (Sounds like something we might all want to make our children do, huh?)

But credit cards... those are another animal altogether. And, as I read in an article today, I believe that it is symptomatic of one or more Biblical principles. Greed, poor communication, selfishness, gluttony, lack of self-discipline... these things all relate to how a married couple interacts with each other, as well as to the Bible itself. In popular American society, the whole idea is to get bigger, better, faster in almost everything. There is no stability in that; no security in that; no structure. (Much like the way your interest rates are with a credit card!) And we begin to see how the root of all evil (the love of money) is slicing into the very core of the first relationship in any home; the marriage! If ever there was an example of being "in this world and not of it," this would be the poster-child.
Rom 12:2

I'll not claim to be free of these chains myself, as we are not yet complete with our plan. But we have one. I will also admit that we do not execute as well as we would like. However, I can tell you this with absolute certainty: we tithe more now than we ever have, and have started to embrace our role as stewards of His blessings. That alone has eased so many things! Because embracing who we are, and Whose we are, along with the responsibilities thereof is a HUGE part of the life we have chosen to live.
1 Pet 4:10

I implore you tonight, both husbands and wives alike, to spend time looking over finances and praying together... TOGETHER. Stand up for the legacy that you have chosen to leave behind by taking an active role in how it plays out! We did, after all, make the bold statement, "Until death do us part." And, as I recall, there was another phrase in there, "for richer or poorer." And, like everyone, I truly hoped that the "poorer" part would never come. But it did. And then it passed. And it may come again. That is life. That is love. And I wouldn't trade the hard work to see it through for anything!
Eccl 4:9

The more important part, though, is being ready for it. Reinforce your wall with some financial wisdom and planning. That way, the "money monster" has less chance of getting inside!

God bless you all!!!

Criticism

When was the last time one of your friends or acquaintances offered you constructive criticism? There are so many times that we, as individuals and as couples, begin to believe that we are right... sometimes (especially in my case) to a fault. In truth, most of my pride-filled moments of arrogance about my own correctness have ended in horrid embarrassment.

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.
Proverbs 3:7

But what about when we do this as a couple? Or, worse yet, what happens when we husbands refuse to lend an ear to the "wif-dom" that exists within our own home? Sometimes the wisest of all men is the one who realizes that there is GREAT wisdom in listening to his wife. (Okay... in my case it's closer to like 98.99% of the time.) We are, after all, to treat our wives as "joint heirs" and equals. Therefore, when we come up with a less-than-good idea, a little criticism could be just what the doctor ordered!
1 Pet 3:7

Aside from that, what about those times when we run into a roadblock in our marriage, and then guess who comes over??? That one couple that seemingly never has arguments or dissidence or even heated discussion... and they want to tell you how to fix it! But, and here's the tough part of all of this, why do we react as we do? We almost always jump to a position of defense, claiming that it is no one's business. I think it comes down to the simple human trait of pride. Especially as men, we do not want to seem as though we need any assistance in relating to our wives. And as for the wives, they do not want the appearance and inference that things are not perfect. We all have this picture-perfect Donna Reed image in our heads, and we spend so much time trying to live up to these unrealistic expectations that we end up wasting most of our time! Oddly enough, I was watching an episode of a favorite show of mine, and one character asked another, "why is it that when it comes to relationships, people refuse to take advice from those that have already been through it?" So........... why is that???

I cannot answer the question for you, because I have done my fair share of the song and dance that is refusing to take advice. However, as I think about how we are called to live, it seems to me that another character trait should supersede the pride; accountability. And, as we are called to support each other, we should also be held accountable to each other. After all, with prayer to start it off, followed by a healthy discussion of (the most often simple perception) a problem, a few open and honest comments among close friends in a safe place, and a prayer to close there should be no issue with simply taking advice. Throughout life we seek out mentors in all areas; work, school, bible study, etc. But when you got married, did someone suggest that you get a Mentor Couple? No one told us that...

Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
Proverbs 13:10

Did we give up, though? No. We have found so many people that have been open about overcoming the normal hills and mountains that married couples sometimes have to tackle. And we have been blessed from the hearing of their trials and successes!

If I could add one closing thought, though, I would say again that accountability is the key. And when I speak of accountability in this or any other article, please know that I speak specifically of personal accountability. I cannot sit around and wait until my wife does something nice for me before I do what I should as a husband. And the same is true in reverse. Finally, if we as married couples agree to hold ourselves up to this light, commit to fervent prayer for strengthening of this, His will, for our marriages, and never step away from our path... wow.
Eph 5:22-28

God bless you!!!

Focus

How much does your work life affect your home life? I'm trying hard tonight, and praying harder, to keep them separated... but the financial part of my brain is wanting to drift into tomorrow and formulate an attack plan for maximum gains! How many people will we see? What will they be interested in? Will our outreach program remain as successful as it has always been? The problem here is that when I think on these things, I neglect the time that I have with my wife and children. And, in case you're wondering, my first job as a husband and father is to NEVER neglect my wife and children.

The irony in all of this worry is that I am constantly telling my wife that worry is irrelevant and unnecessary. I stand firm on the belief that worry serves no purpose at all, for what is going to happen is STILL going to happen... whether you worry about it or not. I think back to a book I read about escaping the "disease" of worry (as the author put it), and the verse he cited from the book of Matthew.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

And then I try to console myself with fantastic visions of what could be, if the circumstances all went in my favor. I think of amazing achievements in the workday, increase in financial blessing, and the ability to free our family of any remaining debt within the next 7 months. (Figuratively, of course... I mean... it's not like I sat down for three hours one day and calculated with exact precision how quickly we could be out of debt or anything...)

A prudent man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool's eyes wander to the ends of the earth.
Proverbs 17:24

But these flights of fancy take me nowhere but back to square one. And there I sit, not playing with my small children and enjoying time with my wife. Not focusing on the fact that their formative years are passing by so quickly, and these are the times when I should be the most involved. Not paying attention to the house work, assuming that it will somehow just "get done." And worst of all, not giving the honor to my wife that is afforded to all working moms; a little time to relax in peace and quiet.

What do I have to show for all of this??? Nothing but wasted hours. Time, which waits for no man, is literally just flying by me. And I am allowing the most precious moments of my life as a father to slip away with it.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:27

If I could say one thing about this tonight, it would be this... turn your phones off when you come home. The office will still be there tomorrow, and I would bet that there isn't much you can do after you've left for the day to increase your already-completed productivity. Spend time in prayer tonight, and commit to setting time aside when you get home. Be intentional about it, and let nothing stop you... because the enemy is that persistent, and we should be, too!!!

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and all your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3

God bless you!!!

Friday's thought.....

At the end of the week, we all need a little boost to remind us of who we are... and Whose we are. I post them all in reference to Proverbs with a QBQ (question behind the question) to spur accountability. Because without accountability, we can never grow.

Prov 16:18 - Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
QBQ - Are my pride and spirit a blessing or a burden?
We are all capable of letting our pride ruin things. Show wisdom by retaining your humility; honor the Lord through this!

May He bless you!!!

Psalm 127:1

"Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain."
Psalm 127:1a (NIV)

This verse is so commonly referenced in conjunction with marriage. And rightly so! When my marriage began we both were Christian, but not on fire yet. She was a member of a local church, and I was.... well.... let's just say I was not.

And we weathered our fair share of storms together in the past eight years. But it started to get easier when we realized that God needed to be our first focus... not ourselves. It is so easy to forget that point, you know?
Matt 6:33

I would say to everyone that the first focus of your marriage needs to be your relationship with the Lord. First as individuals, and then as a couple. This is the best way you will find your purpose in His plan, and your rightful place in your own home. And trust me, you ARE a part of His plan.
Jer 29:11

But moreover, as we discuss the "builders" of the "house" (you know, ourselves), we find that the building cannot be completed without help from God. And, in the 4th wall concept, it would be fairly difficult for me to hold two walls and my wife to hold the other two, and then Hurricane Beelzebub could roll right through us! Blessedly, we do not have that worry! Three of our walls are built and sustained by the Lord, and cannot be harmed.

And so, I conclude where I began by saying that our 4th wall is all we have to focus on. As a believer, you have no fear from the other three walls... because He is holding them up!!!

God bless you!